Have you ever been in a situation where you’ve already decided what the outcome is going to be before you’ve even tried to make it anything else? Those glass half empty moments that seem to happen over and over again? I know I do. I have them regularly. They’re known as your limiting beliefs.
This past month my limiting beliefs have run the show. Actually that’s not true – they’ve been running the show for a lot longer than that. And I’ve let them. In many ways because they are some familiar to me they provide an element of comfort – I know where I am with them. Or do I? With thanks to one of the most extraordinary people that I’ve ever had I now feel I am gaining the strength to stand up to them so they can be shifted. As uneasy as it makes me feel to share this with the world – I’m going to. I need to unpick these limiting beliefs and rewrite my known truths. I need to stop hiding myself away when they come up – I need to stand up to them.
I know that I have a deep rooted set of limiting beliefs that are interconnected and can cause havoc on my life – not can. Do. They are all connected with my sense of worth and a fear of abandonment. I could easily sit here and type the reason why I have them (or at least why I think I do) or come up with 1001 examples of times when I think I’ve been justified in having these beliefs. But is that really going to help?
Making excuses and blaming others isn’t going to help me though. I’ve played a blame game for too long and it doesn’t serve me. It eats away at my insecurities and manifests more to back up these limiting beliefs rather than helping me combat them. So what am I going to do about it?
The first step for me is making sure that my close circle is an honest, supportive and constructive one. Whilst once upon a time I may have thought it appropriate to live by the saying “keep your friends close, your enemies closer”, it doesn’t serve me. I will keep some at arms length (for some even further away) if they can’t be supportive of me. I need fountains and not drains in my life. I know this isn’t always going to be possible and I do need to be able to handle those who have a negative tendency – and I will. They will find that there are very clear boundaries put in place.
That alone won’t alter my limiting beliefs – I know that. It can be argued that all that achieves is a cushioning or safety net and I can see that. What it does is provide me with a space where I feel safe enough to get vulnerable, to know that I’m supported as I go through the process of rewriting the perceptual programming of my subconscious mind. Limiting beliefs are deep rooted – they aren’t though set in stone. I know I can do this.
There’s a great quote from Michael Scott that goes great change always comes down to the actions of a single person. If you want to bring about change in your life – you need to do it yourself. That doesn’t mean you need to do it alone though. Last night I was again reminded that I do have one of the most amazing people in the world in my corner. I often pinch myself at just how lucky I am to have them in my life and I thank them from the bottom of my heart for their unwavering belief in me and constant support (even if I can’t always see it).
Onwards … upwards … and let’s do this …